Cease and Desist

I have been thinking this week about pain.

Not just physical or emotional but the combination.

I find it amazing what pain makes us cappable of.

Some of us cry uncontrollably.

Some of us get angry.

Or eat.

Or sleep.

Or say things we don't mean.

Or don't say things at all.

I might do all of the above.

At the same time.

Today was the first time in the gym since my surgery.

My pain was trying to run 2 miles.

It didn't happen.

But I did bike 5.

Regardless.

Jennifer Aniston said, "The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel pain."

Which to me also means the greater we might react.

For the past few weeks, (especially since Brad left)

I have had a little bit of pain that I don't normally feel.

Loneliness.

Which also to me,

says I do love.

Alot.

WHICH.

Also makes it that much harder when there is no one around to love.

And...

makes it a little harder when the ones you love the most are far away.

So until I see them again..

Looking like April.. for MUSE.

I will be inflicting more pain upon my self to pass the time.

Via the gym.

Or the ski hill.

Regardless.

This emotional pain.

This loneliness.

Really needs to cease and desist.

P.S. If you are in the greater SLC and read this and your name is Deanna... maybe you should help a girl out?

Ya think?