I often find myself doing things on a whim and then realizing later on that sometimes I should think before I do. I see that this is an attribute that can help me but also hurt me in many ways. The past few days I don't know which it seems to be.
For the past week I have been pretty sick. (Yes, even during my extravaganza to Idaho) In being pretty much locked up in my house (or huddled at the library) and without my voice, my wheels in my brain have began to turn. You see, I don't know if it is that I am "homesick" or "friendsick" or what but, yesterday I had the brilliant idea of moving back to Arizona to help to further my work on my photography business ideas. Shocking I know... the idea of me even thinking about moving back to literally the fires of hell is asinine but also somewhat inticing. I have my support system there. My friends are there. I have a ton of connections with the church there. They have Blue Bell and Trader Joe's, and yet today when I have sat and really thought about this idea of returning to the "Valley of the Sun" all I can think is, "Yeah right I am crazy!"
Futhermore... I am in a little bit of a quandry mentally. I hate Phoenix. But is has a lot to offer me at the moment. On the other hand... I love Utah. This is where I want to permantely be. I realize that jumping ship now would most definately not help me in any way shape or form build any permance on the Wastach Front.... but the idea of everyone back home is such a comfortable idea.
Regardless, I have decided for the moment... it needs to remain an idea. I need to stick it out here. Maybe I will try moving down the canyon a bit to SLC and give it a go in a little bit of a bigger town.
How funny is it that sometimes no matter what postition we are at in life... we still think that the grass could be greener on the other side when we have already hopped the fence?
2 comments:
Ahhh the great debate... Well I feel comfortable with your decision. :-) Well done.
As rough as it must be to not have your support system there, I really think it's good for you to be in Utah. Let's face it, you really love that place! Plus, it's not like we have abandoned ship on you. You have visitors all the time and you know that won't stop. Stick it out and see what surprises await you in the land of the hair poof - and remember we're all cheering for you!!!
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