Being Quiet In A Loud Way

Do any of you feel like life isn't worth living if you don't have that one person to live it with?

Sadly.

I do.

Right now it is 3:27 AM and I am listening to this....

(sadly there is more truth to this song in this moment than I would like to admit.)

thinking...

I just finished dealing with one of the worst things in my life that I might ever have to...

and yet...

I am here alone.

Not even celebrating.

In the midst of it all though...

I wish someone was here.

I wish he was here to hold me.

To be my source of comfort.

To make it ok to sleep through the night.

To play with my hair and tell me how proud of me he is.

Yet.

I haven't talked to him in weeks.

And it is killing me.

I hate it.

Sadly I know it is for the best.

And.

Yet again.

Why?

Why does it have to be like this?

It is truly a bitter sweet day and I really wish it was just that much more sweet than bitter.