Being Quiet In A Loud Way

Excited.

2012-02-07T08:58:00.000-08:00

As I sit here to write I am laughing at myself for the simple fact that I really don't have much to say.

The past few days I have have a few really little things happen that have just made my whole week.

Examples?

One. I got to talk to a very old friend.

Like I have known him since we were 15 type of old friend.

(He has snuck into the ol blog here once or twice but I can't find a pic at the moment)

Two. In that conversation I had made the statement, "Oh well if you really want to catch up I am still blogging so you can just go and read and you will be all up to date."

Three. That made me really want to be more proactive in my updates.

I know that there are quite a few of you that always mention you know what is going on because you read this thing and there has been more than once in my life where I have gone back to use my post as references with when something happened!

I think it is really cool!

Outside of the topic of blogging, this past weekend I also got to ski a ton.

It was so nice to feel comfortable on my skis again.

Most of the time was also spent skiing with Jordy which always seems to feel like the most normal thing in my life and it was nice just to feel that way again for a few days.

On a note related to this post.

I am doing something this weekend that makes me so nervous I could puke even thinking about it!

The good kind of nervous!

Hint?

This guy.

Lastly my wonderful friend Kendra threw me a cd of photos shot this fall.

Some of them I just looooovvveee.

Mountain Thearpy

2012-01-30T19:33:00.000-08:00

“Do not give in too much to feelings. A overly sensitive heart is an unhappy possession on this shaky earth.” -Goethe

Dreams.

2012-01-28T12:36:00.000-08:00

Do you ever get so discouraged by what you don't know that you just don't do anything at all?

I am queen of it.

I always see that quote that states,"What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail"and oddly enough the answer is always the same for me.

So after a week of being stuck in my apartment and going crazy over what to do with my life I am finally getting ready to build a bridge over the discouragement and get on with it.

The past few months I have battled with what my purpose is. Well truth be told I have always battled with it. I look at my life and most of the people that are close to me have kind of always known what they wanted to do and just went after it. Awesomely enough not only did they go after it but they are now taking their own respective worlds by storm.

Now.

Here I am.

Trying to figure out what next.

Until today.

This morning I happened across something. (No I am not telling you what it is.) This something is something I will do anything to be apart of. Yes it costs money. Money I don't have.Doesn't everything in life cost something. Oddly enough this one thing...today... has made me obsessed. I have never thought about going to such extremes to be a part of something so bad and finding the will to do it no matter what.

So here is where this next quote comes in.

No discouragement here.

I am beyond excited.

I am planning on this.

I can't wait to share it all with you.

Bring it on dreams.

Source: fuckyeahfitspo.tumblr.com via Bridget on Pinterest

My Uncle Les

2012-01-27T09:04:00.000-08:00

I have cabin fever.

No joke.

The worst part?

I have missed almost all of the Sundance action.

It is crazy because to be honest most of us PC locals are not that into it. Yes we like that all of the tourists bring us business and lots and lots of monies but on the other hand it also wears us all down. Sadly for me the only week of the year I get to rub elbows with celebs and make benjamins I get whopping cough.

Yes, you read that correctly.

What almost 29 year old adult woman gets whopping cough?

This one.

Ridiculous.

Outside of the sickness my family is full of heart ache.

This past week we lost my Uncle Les.

He was a feisty cowboy.

He had a huge spitfire attitude that cracked us all up.

He was a hard worker and even more incredible father.

Somewhere in me there was a very tender place for this man.

Every time I saw him I lost it.

I don't know why.

Maybe it was the little girl in me who remembers him putting me on the back of the horse and trotting me around without a care in the world. Maybe it was his teasing or just the big hugs he gave I couldn't resist.

Whatever it was it will be missed.

My heart and love goes out to my Aunt La and cousins and Uncle Les's family.

He was a special man and will remain that way in my heart always.

Sarah.

2012-01-20T08:58:00.000-08:00

It always amazes me when someone passes away whom by their actions and contributions moved the world.

Yesterday the skiing industry was shaken yet again.

Living in a ski town you don't have a choice to learn who the olympians or great winter athletes are. It just happens and they all become your friends and neighbors.

I believe it is as if you lived anywhere.... you become completely immersed in the culture around you.

Living in PC has been in interesting journey for me.

Between Jordy and Bama and the rest of the things I have gotten to experience I have been exposed to things I never in my wildest dreams understood even existed.

I have gained appreciation for places and people whom I had only once heard about and now call friends.

Yesterday though I personally only met her a handful of times, the ski industry lost a great member of it's family.

Oddly it shook me pretty deep.

Mostly because at this time in my life I am struggling to figure out what my dream is and Sarah lived hers so effortlessly and with grace.

She is a true inspiration and will always be someone I look up to.

I love moment 4:22.

I am working on learning this one.

May we all find our dreams and conquer the world in which we were meant to.

Mr. and Mrs. J Money.

2012-01-07T09:25:00.000-08:00

Dr. BFF and I were talking the other night.

What we were talking about was 2008.

It was a crazy year.

It was also one of the best years of my life that I can remember to this day.

Mostly because of these people.

I made so many wonderful memories that year that luckily thanks to Dr. BFF I blogged.

One of those treasured memories was meeting J Money.

Yes, I might of forced him to be our friend.

Yes, he might of told me I was only 2 1/2 scoops.

Yes, he might be the whitest black kid I know but somehow I love him even more for all of it.

Oh Hey look below!

This was the night I got the car towed!

"It will be fine!"

We have shared a ton of moments over the past few years.

Lucky for us so so so many of them are filled with laughter and the best memories of our lives.

Everyday I count my blessings that you happened to stand up that one day to bear your testimony so that we could find you and make you a permanent part of our everydays.

You are the most sincere, righteous, and thoughtful man on the planet.

Your wit and charm not to mention moves like Jagger have left me with thoughts of you that compare to no one.

Everytime your name is spoken nothing but a smile comes across my face.

Days when I am low all I need to hear is "What to do Baby Boo" and all is right in the world again.

I am so happy for you.

I am so happy that you found Marisel.

I am beyond the moon that she is going to be a part of our "little family."

We are a special group...I hope she can handle it! ;)

March 10th can not come fast enough.

Congratulations my sweet sweet friend!

I can't wait to see you on your big day!

Love,

"Baby B-Ridge"

Warm Winters.

2012-01-07T09:08:00.000-08:00

I don't think that if I were to ever tell you that it would be in the 50s in January in Utah any of you would ever believe me.

This was around the same time last year.

Two days ago I took the boys out hiking and obviously where is no snow on the ground anywhere.

Today however I woke up to mmm... maybe an inch down here in Heber.

The odd part was when I woke up this morning and had zero desire to ski.

None.

I haven't really had much all year.

As a matter of fact my skis are not even in my possession at the moment!

Maybe it is because I have been working a ton or just... it isn't the same for me as it was only 12 months ago. I have no clue.

I never thought I would actually miss the warm winters.

This year I have.

Hopefully Old Man winter will get his butt in gear and I will perk up!

Come on snow!

Java Wedding.

2012-01-03T11:38:00.000-08:00

I can't tell you how much I loved these two hours.

In the last post I told you I went to a little wedding in a coffee shop.

I was not kidding.

December 30th was not my favorite day. Work crap, personal crap, money crap, you know the usual were taking a toll on me and it all happened to downpour on the 30th.

That night however I got the funniest phone call.

I have two good friends (Ryan and Lindsay) who I met via bar tending (kids don't ever let your parents tell you jobs like this are nothing... I have met many of my most favorite people in the world serving) that all in the past year moved here, got engaged, are having a baby, and bought a house.

Anywho.

Their big wedding isn't until September.

Moving on.

On the night of the 30th I got a call from Ry asking if I would please be a guest at their wedding the next morning at the coffee shop.

Needless to say I was there.

Here is the "I can't help myself from taking photos" photos.

Congrats Ry and Linds!

I am so happy for you and the September party can't come fast enough!

1.1.12

2012-01-01T11:05:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year.

Welcome 2012.

Did any of you my friends make resolutions?

I did.

No I am not going to share these goals here.

However when I accomplish them you will know.

I hope that the last day of the year 2011 was as eventful for you as it was for me.

These are two of my dear friends that got married yesterday morning.

Yes, they are in a coffee shop.

Yes, that is the mayor of PC.

It was one of the sweetest things I have been able to be a part of in quite sometime.

Here is to the new year and finding what makes us all happy!

Much Love.

-B

December.

2011-12-29T20:19:00.000-08:00

I am happy this month is almost over.

I am ready for the new year.

Lucky for me this month had a few really great memories.

1. Siblings in town.

2. Sister's gift to me. love.

3. The long promised juicer. love more. (it requires a post someday)

4. Window.

5. 2nd Annual Skiaversary.

6. Teeth. New ones. 8 of them. Serious.

7. 2nd Favorite breakfast of all time. (this is the first.)

"All I Want For Christmas is My Two.."

2011-12-13T23:02:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow is the day.

Remember this?

I can't believe it is here.

I can't believe that I am so out of my mind excited that I can't sleep.

I am..can't... oh man.

I honestly think tomorrow is more important than any wedding day I can ever dream of.

Pics to come.

P.S. Yeah blogging has taken way back seat.

2 Jobs.

No life.

Working things out with The Mr.

Holidays? What holidays?

Snow? What snow?

Skiing? HAHAHA.. that's funny.

Yes. My life is turned upside down.

Oddly. at the moment.. I am good with it.

Oh... on more thing.

I love love love love my new job.

I mean seriously.

How can it suck coming to work at a place like this!

Come visit?

Behind the Scenes.

2011-12-01T10:56:00.001-08:00

I have mentioned that I have been pretty absent from the ol' blog a ton lately.

Yes for some reasons but for others it is due to this.

I started working here a few weeks ago and have loved it.

(Yes, I am still at Maxwell's too.)

Not only is the hotel a beautiful place to come to work but I love the people I work with.

Did I mention in the bar I work there is a bowling ally?

Do you know what the back of a bowling ally looks like?

Pretty cool uh?

I was told that one of these machines weights 3,000 pounds and has a gillizon parts!

Another great thing about my timing of my job was that I happened to get hired right before our year celebration.

Getting dressed up, eating, and drinking?

Sure!!!

It was incredible what they put on!

It was also wonderful to be able to get dressed up and for a brief moment and feel like I was celebrating the holidays.

Living and working in a ski town your life begins to revolve around December and January.

Work, work, work while the money is here!

Hopefully this season is good to us.

Now the only thing I am really looking forward to is getting my skis on again!

Maybe that will be the plan for tomorrow!

Happy December!

Oh Hey! I'm Still Alive.

2011-11-28T09:50:00.001-08:00

So holy crap I fell off the planet.

Mentally obviously more than physically but hey I think we are all entitled to do that once in a while.

To those of you who have sent me emails and letters... I am OK.

Thank you.

(Somedays talking pubicaly about my "ADD" is not necesarly the right thing but most days it helps.)

On another note.

Last night I was told I blog "at" people.

When I heard this I had to think a moment.

I then came to the conclusion that I do and if you know who you are and what is going on in my life you most likely will be communicated to/at via "Being Quite..".

Kinda funny?

BBBuuuttt I should probably work on that.

ASLO.

How was everyone's Thanksgiving?

Mine?

Ha!

It consisted of a morning of work and 2 PBRs with a half a box of Cheese Its for dinner.

Don't be jealous.

Anywho. I am trying to get back on track again.

I am kinda of working 3 jobs at the moment so that leaves little time for le blog.

However... as the winter rolls in hopefully that will change a bit!

Below is a thought I have had the past week.

Heaven bless Pinterest.

Source: Uploaded by user via palindromeda on Pinterest

Pray for snow!

A*Hole.

2011-11-17T08:35:00.001-08:00

This little picture pretty much sums it up.

Source: bearnaked.us via palindromeda on Pinterest

The past few weeks my little "ADD" has crept in.

More often than not I have had those night where all I am doing is crying.

It is stupid.

So... needless to say I fell off the planet again.

I cried way to much at work again.

I quit talking to friends again.

I made a mess of my house again.

I also stopped doing anything I loved again.

Some people say that depression is a choice.

F' them.

The worst part?

I can't control what triggers it.

I know that I am dealing with way more this time this year than last.

Today I feel like I lost a world and a life that I actually belonged in.

I feel separated by a bar. Literally!

So there you have it.

I am trying.

Most days right now it feels no where like enough and I keep stepping in quicksand.

So for today.

I went to the gym.

I emailed someone back.

I am going to clean my room.

I've gotta start somewhere.

Star, Star

2011-11-13T17:19:00.001-08:00

Music is therapy for me.

This song especially.

Nap Time.

2011-11-10T15:01:00.001-08:00

Yesterday these were scenes from my house.

As you can see all of my "kids" like to nap while I am unpacking.

Hank, he will make do with anything.

Anywhere.

Waylon and Windland prefer to sleep where I do.

Do you see it is EXACTLY where I do?

gggrrr..

Finn?

Oh yeah?

He isn't napping.

He prefers to let everyone sleep and instead run his rope around his head smacking me every chance he gets!

I guess three for four mellow animals isn't bad!

I hope everyone's week has been good to them!

I have been getting my head and heart back together and took on something so big this winter we will see if I survive!?!?

I have a feeling April 16th will not come fast enough!

P.S. Sorry for all of these photos of my "babies."

They are all always with me if I am not at work and really everyone else I know has kind of fallen off the planet.

Heaven help me if I ever have kids! ;)

Enough Said.

2011-11-07T20:33:00.000-08:00

Funny how when you are feeling a certain way things just appear?

Thank you Casey for sharing and Chris for such beautiful work.

Happy List #2

2011-11-07T07:09:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday!

So you all know a few weeks ago when I started my "Happy Lists?"

Yeah?

Well somehow in the madness of breakup central and moving they got lost.

I decided even though today is Monday I need to still share.

Happy List #2

1. It being 30 degrees out everyday. I love the cold and being bundled up!

2. Being about 2 weeks shy of getting to get my temporaries put in to model my new teeth!

3. This email.

Hi Bridget,

This is Elyssa’s auntie from the Red Sox game. I had to let you know how much I loved your post on Saturday, especially the note to Christmas from Thanksgiving! I love Thanksgiving and it does sometimes get lost in the Christmas rush. Your photos are amazing, you have such a wonderful talent! While I love my home in Vermont I must say the view you see in the morning is beautiful and makes me want to visit the West again. Attached is a photo of our fur people, Frye and Leela. I am a dog person at heart yet these two have certainly captured my heart and make life sweet. The photos of your dogs help give me a dog fix.

Thanks for sharing your world and I wish you wonderful holidays,

“Auntie” Kathy

I have mentioned many times that I meet people wherever I go.

"Auntie" was in row in front of me and The Mr. and at Fenway a few months ago.

So rad.

4. Morning coffee time.

5. So since I have moved out of PC, it is actually quicker for me to go to Provo to go to Target.

There are not many better driving views to be able to look at to just go shopping!

6. I get to get my hair did today. Hallelujah!

7. The fact that my "studio" is in complete array due to moving and yet I rearranged a spot for my papasan so I could watch a movie!

Cracks me up.

(SEE "TB" I use it for more than storage!)

8. Got a new job.

(Not so excited to work that much BUT really excited to get out of debt!)

9. Texts from the Little Bro.

He sends me pictures that crack me up.

I miss him a ton and can't wait till he is home for the holidays.

10. This movie.

Mostly this part.

Dex: Rachel just so you know, what I said this morning

Rachel: Yeah?

Dex: I meant it.

Different scene. Rachel and her best friend Ethan.

R:That's what he said?

E:It's complicated Ethan.

R:Dont.

E:Don't what?

E:Rachel it's not complicated, he's being a dick and to be honest you are being kind of stupid.

R:Whoa I'm being stupid?

E:Yes.

E:He's stringing you along and the worst part is you are just letting him.

How long are you going to let this happen Rachel? His wedding day? hHs first anniversary?

Have you even talked to him since the 4th?

Rachel when did you become one of these women who waits? Who is still waiting?...

Hey want to give me a really killer going away present?

R:Yeah What?

E:Tell your boyfriend to make a decision.

Sorry I didn't have the clip but you get the idea.

That part of the film got me.

I don't need to go into detail but let's just say in my life, I am soooo done waiting.

I am off to hopefully a better week than last!

Cheers Friends!

Stay Happy!

HO HO HOOO!

2011-11-05T09:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Lovelies,

Every year about this time you all start to make fun of me.

Yes, I know my obsession with the holidays and Christmas decorations is a bit much but guess what?

This year, I don't care.

As of today Starbucks has been using holiday cups for over a week now.

There are Christmas commercials on TV.

IT SNOWED.

Neighbors have up lights. No not orange spooky ones.

Did I mention I have already been looking at ornaments.

(I think I am upgrading my tree this year!)

So for all you Scrooges out there that believe this:

Source: piccsy.com via Kelly on Pinterest

Sorry, I just like to group them together!

HO HO HO!

Merry Holidays!

Love.

Me.

P.S. Polly wish you were here for come coco and carols and maybe a movie or two!

Simple Things.

2011-11-04T08:34:00.000-07:00

These past few weeks have blown my mind.

I wouldn't say that it has been in an especially good way either.

Lucky for me time passes and things move on and the wind will change directions.

Unlucky for all of you...when my life gets all screwy I don't blog.

Or go on road trips I had planned.

Dangit.

So after 16 hours of playing "catch-up" on sleep and a few episodes of HIMYM things are starting to come around again.

Here are a few things from the week that kind of made it for me.

1. My Sun Valley purse.

There is a really cool story behind it and it also got it's use out of it everyday for the past year but, it was time to let it go. It was getting NASTY and seriously ripping.

2. Rushtini's costume.

No joke.

It blew up and had a fan in his pants.

Personally it sounded like one of the most pleasant costumes to wear out Halloween night!

3. Good quotes.

One night this week I sent this to a friend.

(It has been floating around FB and I saw it about ninety thousand times in one day)

This friend then showed up at my house...btw it is no where near "in the neighborhood"...just to give me a hug.

Yes, I then bawled my guts out but have never been more grateful for just a simple hug in my life.

You really know who your true friends are when they stop their lives just to give you a hug.

Thank you to you know who you are.

Meant more than the world to me.

4. Walks with the boys.

It amazes me that really all I have to do is let them run wild and I just laugh and they have a ball.

They also like to find neat things like skeletons.

Eeewww.

5. My view. I know that I have already posted about it a million times but look at it. (via. left pic.)

It is insane to wake up and look at that everyday.

Somedays I feel big and can conquer the world.

Others it is humbling.

I kinda like my backyard mountain.

6. Lastly.

This was the view out my Wal-Mart parking lot last night.

Silly isn't it? ;)

Have a good Friday everyone!

Great Views

2011-11-01T13:15:00.000-07:00

When I get up in the morning and look out my window this is what I see.

It does not suck.

This past week, as I mentioned wasn't that great.

Luckily my view from my home is ;)

This week I have amazed myself and my capabilities within myself.

There are things about me and who I am that I love.

Yes, there are a few parts of myself that I don't know so much but in my eyes there is always room for improvement.

This weekend and this past week I made myself proud of me.

With things in my life lately I made a point to start giving all I can.

Saturday night and Sunday I did.

I gave all I could.

Sunday night nothing came of it.

Today? Tuesday morning...

I am ok with it all.

I am because I admitted my faults and tried to move on.

I guess I am moving on...maybe just not in the way I hoped.

Who knows, maybe it is a blessing in disguise!

Source: isleofview-facesoflove.tumblr.com via Virginia on Pinterest

Have I mentioned I am in LOVE with Pinterest?

Today it snowed here.

Pray for MORE!

Happy Halloween?

2011-10-31T08:18:00.000-07:00

Source: quotediary.me via palindromeda on Pinterest

After the past few days this is defiantly all I am going to be thinking.

Everything about this past weekend had so many more wrongs than rights.

So. many. more.

To be honest about it?

OVER IT.

Instead since I have been MIA for almost a week and a half (thank you internet) I am going to focus all of my energy on on all of the things that are absolutely right in my life.

Just to name a few of them....

My new skis.

AMAZEBALLS.

Two seasons ago when I was still riding I told myself I would be on rockered twin tips.

Done.

My Finn.

Can you see the pin?

He is so special.

Special ed? Yes that too.

"Lexie" whom I sort of mentioned here.

Her and I been almost inseparable.

She makes me pee my pants most days.

She also happens to like to help me drink and paint my studio a hideous shade of purple.

This picture doesn't even begin to do it justice.

Lastly.

I am loving some of the random happenstances in my life that just make me crack up.

ie. The bumper sticker and the vodka "sodas" we (Me and Lexi) had to drink last night that we both actually walked out on.

After everything the past few days it feels good to just look at the positive.

At the moment I need to "positively" look for a costume for work tonight.

Have I told you all I have a costume closet?

Did I mention Lexi and I are taking a road trip this week?

Watch out Colorado!

Oh... and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Knowing.

2011-10-28T23:21:00.000-07:00

You know how you have those weeks where you just can't figure out how they got to the point they have ended at?

(Follow me?)

I have been having maybe two of those in a row.

Almost a month ago I was here.

That morning I made a phone call to PAT-Rice that I will never forget.

In this post, I said that I knew I hadn't been that happy in years.

In our conversation I have never been more content than in any other conversation in my life.

Today?

Right now?

The complete opposite.

The Mr. and I are walking away.

Actually he will be driving/flying/running/whatever away...

I will just be.

I am devastated.

The hardest part about relationships ending is always trying to figure out the "why" parts of it.

For me, in this... it is mostly the "I don't knows."

Maybe one day I will explain what I mean with that.

Tonight... I am going to grieve.

I am going to keep telling myself, "It just wasn't right."

I am going to cry.

I am going to struggle to sleep.

That is what we do when our hearts are broken.

I know I am very open about these things via blog.

That is who I am.

It is what I do.

This I do know.

A little favor from you friends?

Keep me in your thoughts.

I am going to move on.

I am going to be happy.

I am going to do the things I do know I want.

Fear or not.

So thank you and I will chat more next week when my head is on a little straighter...

Movement.

2011-10-26T21:17:00.000-07:00

I know, I know.

I fell straight off the planet.

It's called moving.

Yes, again.

Did I also mention that means no internet/ computers everywhere/ crazy madness house with lots of animals and friends running loose?

To add to that I kind of feel like Hank (who was just sick and is much better thank you) felt in this photo... as I do lately.

Yep, just watching everything fly by and yet there is nothing he can do about it.

I am ready for a bit of calm...

I guess that is what moving does to a person.

Oh I can't wait for the snow...

"Henry"

2011-10-21T07:31:00.000-07:00

"Old dogs, like old shoes, are comfortable. They might be a bit out of shape and a little worn around the edges, but they fit well."
- Bonnie Wilcox 'Old Dogs, Old Friends'

"A dog is the only thing on this earth that loves you more than he loves himself."

-Josh Billings (Henry Wheeler Shaw)

Look at this old man.

He looks this happy all the time.

Sadly, today not so much.

Hanky all of a sudden hasn't been himself.

If you my sweet blogger friends can just some love out today to my home and the Hankster I'd be super appreciative.

Vet appointment is at 3:00.

Let's just pray it isn't his old age but maybe a flu bug...

I'm not ready for more than that.

Thank you.

xxoo.

Feeling It.

2011-10-19T22:31:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have those moments where you just wish someone could see you as you see yourself?

Today... for the first time ever.. I felt that.

Thank you Kendra.

For those of you who need a day to feel like this...

She is the lady!

I needed this today.

I needed girl time.

I needed to feel pretty and wonderful.

I sooooo can't wait to see more.

If you are in PC or SLC or Utah for that matter.

Call her.

She will make you feel like a million bucks.

Seriously "The Cowgirl..."

Thank you.

xoxo.

Running

2011-10-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

As of about 3 hours from now I will no longer be homeless.

I am not quite sure how I am feeling about it.

Why you ask?

Well....It is a little far from PC.

Not much further but defiantly not in PC.

I am sure that you are wondering why I am choosing this if I am no iffy about it.

Well I will have three rooms.

One from me, one for you, and one for all my art stuff.

They also welcome all my "babies."

Believe it or not as dog friendly as PC is it is terribly hard to find a rental under 2 grand, that isn't furnished, and will allow pets.

So to the Heber I go.

One bonus?

Wait till you see my view!!

Speaking of the scenery, look at the views of the my runs I get to take while staying at Neverland.

To to shabby uh?

I have needed this time the past few weeks to just think and run these trails and just be.

I never have been much of a runner.

I have never been able to run more than a mile or two without dying and now it as if I get out of my bed to just go for my runs.

I get so caught up in my breath that miles go by and I forget what the pains of my body are...

It has been very therapeutic and I am starting to worry about when the snow falls what I am going to do.

Nordic ski maybe?

I have no clue.

WHAT IS THE BEST EXERCISE FOR YOU?

Off to my run...in the FROST!

Have a good day everyone!

One Saturday Night

2011-10-18T21:27:00.001-07:00

Every picture tells a story.

I love the story these two tell!

Loving this song today...

Most days actually.

Bathroom Love Letter

2011-10-18T10:04:00.000-07:00

Dear Human Race,

I know that for most of you some of the things in life are tedious.

I know that when in public most of you are different than you are in the sanctuary of your own homes.

Maybe some of you don't put your clothes away?

Maybe beds are left unmade and dishes scattered in the sink?

However you choose to leave your home is fine with me.

However, when it comes to public places...

Is this really necessary?

I mean you can pee, change the old roll, and turn around and throw it away in all but 5 seconds flat.

Trust me, I've timed people.

So please the next time you happen upon this situation do the right thing for the person behind you.

I mean, really?

Don't we all want to make the world a better place one roll of TP at a time?

Sincerely,

The Maxwells Bathroom Stall

P.S. I am not trying to pick on anyone...just hoping we all can do our parts... even when it is only the little things.

Ruby and The Backyard

2011-10-17T08:06:00.000-07:00

Looking at this photo of Hank below how can you not just get a huge smile on your face?

What a way to start your Monday uh?

One of the things I love about where I live is that no matter what is going on in life, you always have the company of the mountains.

Lucky for me I also have Jordy and his new truck which I have lovingly named "Ruby."

Yesterday we decided it was the perfect day for one of the last fall drives of the year.

Hank and Finn didn't mind the idea one bit!

How is amazing is my backyard? The leaves are unreal right now!

On another note, do any of you out there have fun traditions for no reason?

Jordy and I do when it comes to drives and teeny car trips.

We both have a thing for carmel apple cider from Starbucks.

If you haven't had it, especially those of you who are of my LDS background, YOU ARE MISSING OUT!

Did I mention Hank was kind of the star model of the day?

I love "Ruby."

I love that Jordy and I spent some time together in the mountains.

We have had a long rough summer in some parts but I think we are now on the upside of the track.

I am really lucky to have such a wonderful friend like him.

Especially when he lets me stay at "Neverland" and drive "Ruby."

Sometimes a girl just needs to get in the car and drive a hefty automobile.

If it is stick it is even better.

On another note.

I had one more thing to add to my Happy List yesterday that was really the whole reason why I thought to do it.

So here is #11.

Coming home, logging on to blogger, and seeing I have not one or two but three comments from people I have never met.

All three of them gave me words of encouragement and tenderness that was truly needed.

Thank you ladies.

As for plans today... you will see!

Also I think today I might no longer be homeless!

Happy List #1

2011-10-16T12:47:00.000-07:00

How was everyone's week?

I really really hope it was better than mine.

Homeless + Overworked + No Creative time + Extremely lost and broken heart = Enough.

I have cried too much this week.

Next week?

Going to try to limit my tear duct functions.

Yes, I am still homeless.

I am luckily staying in the safest place I know.

It's the kind of place that always sucks me back into and never makes me want to leave.

It's like my Never Neverland.

Everyone should have one of those places.

I hope you all do.

On another note.

Outside of my train wreck of a week... there have been a few good things about it.

As a matter of fact every week, on Sunday, I am going to give you a teeny list about the best parts of my week and one goal to work on for the following.

(Everyone needs goals and I think making my public might help me follow through)

Happy List #1

1. The Mr. Always the Mr. Even in weeks like this and weeks like the next 6 months when he will be on another continent. Sucks when best friends have to work far away.

2. "Never Neverland" and the Peter Pan here too.

3. New friends. (She will make an appearance soon)

4. Old friends who bring you treats! Love you Rumpy!

5. The treat! Hello Carmel Apple!!!!

6. The Buckeye. He kills me. All the time he just kills me.

8. Salmon and dinners that look like this.

If I could blog about the taste you would all be wanting dinner in my neck of the woods every night.

8. Finn and Hank. I love when I get home even if it is from the store, Finn gets this little excited whine. It is music to my ears.

9. The smell of cider candles.

10. Fall. The feeling and anticipation of the snow falling is so exciting!

Goal # 1.

Work on my grammar and punctuation.

I know it is horrible.

Bare with me.

What makes you happy?

Middle of October.

2011-10-14T06:32:00.000-07:00

I mentioned in the last post that I was kind of homeless all of a sudden.

Well, now I have two options.

Both are not in PC but near local smaller towns!

Ohhh what to do?

Regardless... I am excited to be living back again by myself.

I love having my own space and can't wait to move yet again! (kinda not)

Did I mention I will have 3 rooms?

Yes, a guest room!

Come visit!

So, due to said "homelessness" I have not only been working my trash off, but haven't really gotten out and done anything or taken my camera out!

However I did find these gems on my phone this morning!

This is Zeus.

Looks way more intimidating then he is.

Love this photo.

It was taken trying to get "TB" to come out and have a beer!

Can you guess if it worked or not?

I mean would you say no to this guy?

This is my weekly coffee date with "The Cowgirl."

She is from J. Hole.

She is also super talented.

I met her at church a few years ago.

She teaches spin and is super buff.

Did I mention she also works on a farm?

Also... this was last weekend.

Yes, that is snow.

Here it comes!

Have a great day!

P.S. Halloween costumes? I need some ideas!

99% and The Foo

2011-10-12T09:44:00.000-07:00

So I've been MIA for a week.

Let's just say at the moment I am kinda homeless.

Yeah..

Needless to say the past weekend was nutzo.

Lucky for me I have great friends.

Two nights ago I got a text from Mulder (on lift with me in hot green jacket) asking what I was doing the following night, actually he asked if I was working and if not was my night open.

I told him that I surprisingly did have it off and that the couple I was suppose to shoot canceled so I was free.

He then replied, "Want to go see "The Foo?"

All I thought was, "Duhhhh!"

He then told me to keep my night open and he'd let me know.

24 Hours later... Hello the E-Center and Dave Grohl!

Man, he is a sexy beast!

Anywho.

I don't know about you all but, when you are having a crap o'week on all accounts there is nothing like screaming your head off for 2 hours and 45 minutes.

(Yes, they played that long!)

One of my favorite moments of the night was meeting Annie.

Isn't she a babe?

So, I see this couple sitting in front of me and thought that poor lady must of gotten dragged here with her husband.

So... knowing me I asked her!

Her reply?

"No we have been married for close to 30 years and we never wanted kids so we go to rock shows!"

Me: "Who was your favorite?

Annie: "Well, I've seen Aerosmith 10 times, The Eagles were great... oh I don't know."

Me:" Ha! You are awesome I would of never guessed!"

Annie: "You know what I've learned?"

Me: "What?"

Annie: "Whenever I see someone and judge them... I am almost always 99% wrong."

She also told me a few things that I really needed to hear last night.

(I've been over thinking a ton lately and it's causing me mucho stress on my sensitive heart)

So Congrats to Annie and Mike.

Almost 30 years rocking out!

Lastly.

Dave.

Taylor.

Pat.

Nate.

and Chris.

One of the best shows I have EVER. BEEN. TOO.

(That is saying something!)

If you don't know The Foo.

Here is one of my favs.

Kind of ringing true with me at the moment too.

Brace yourself!

Thanks again Mulder!

You know how bad it was needed...

and not to mention... a little more than every 6 months uh?

Get those skis ready!!!

A Snowy Day in October.

2011-10-06T13:42:00.000-07:00

I would like to say thank you to the few of you that left me some input on this post.

Oddly enough, I think that some of the advice that was given to me is what I really already know.

I just need to follow.

On that note. Thank you to those who shared regardless.

So...

DO YOU SEE THE SNOW?

That was taken at about 8 AM.

No, it hasn't stopped yet.

Personally it is a teeny bit to early for this cold snowy weather.

Especially when you live in it 9 months out of the year!

I also sadly, am not quite as excited as I was about it last year... or here too.

Obviously a few things have changed in my life since that time that at moments I am still dealing with. However! When one door closes another door opens!

(More to come on that still.... patience is a virtue)

So, I am opening doors and shoving myself out them all while trying to maintain my sanity!

Not to mention trying to stay warm!

Funny enough Finn and Hank are feeling the same way!

Neither one of them are happy about the cold and Finn is longing out the door while Hanky keeps it level on the heated floor!

So long are the days of this!

Also.

Here is one new shot of one of my new toys.

Hello 27 in. iMac.

Sadly it is also saying goodbye to such an innovator in technology!

To be honest I haven't followed the life of Steve Jobs as much as I should of.

Yes, I have an iPhone, MacBook Pro, and now an iMac.

Apple runs my world.

Sadly the past 24 hours for me have been nothing but search after search about this man, his life, and the wisdom he had to share.

Therefore, after what I mentioned above...

I hope this door is teaching me "How to Live Before I Die."

Rest in Peace Mr. Jobs.

Thank you for your contribution to the world and for all you left behind in the betterment of it all.

Dreams

2011-10-05T08:14:00.000-07:00

So... it has been one of those weeks where I haven't really had much to say.

Instead this week I have lived in question.

Mostly about what is next in my life.

Yes, I know I can't really predict what comes next but I think that it is time I start trying to at least plan.

Yay, being a grownup.

For those of you out there who are "living your dream," how did you know what it was and decided how you were going to get there?

This week I have been forcing myself to decided if my dreams are what I really want.

You all, I am sure are like, "Well what are they?"

This is where I confess I go back and forth with things.

You see when I sit and enjoy my coffee in the morning I am constantly pulled to Casey and Danielle's blogs. Nie's everyday as well.

These are just everyday women who inspire me constantly.

They make it a point to be honest, creative, and real in their lives about being moms and loving the things that are the things they all don't really love so much.

So here are my thoughts.

I am 28 almost 29.

(Wow... I just wrote that... and those numbers are not as small as they once were...dang)

I am the first female in my family to get this far without having kids at this point.

I have been very indecisive about every having them.

I also have a huge passion for my photography.

(Yes, at the moment I am still so scrambled as where to begin in this whole process but it will come)

It hasn't been until the past week that I had all the tools to help to start building my business.

So... how do I go about figuring out what I really want and expect out of myself for my future?

In a relationship or not.

Alone or not.

Rich or poor.

Sick or healthy.

Whatever my circumstances may be.

Where do all of lay out your foundation and begin to build?

P.S. I realize this is all kind of random but I would just really love some input from all of you who read this thing and don't ever comment.

P.S.S. Fall is already on it's way out here.

Bummer. ;)

A Moment of Clarity...or Recovery?

2011-10-03T07:28:00.000-07:00

There is something about Monday's that just don't sit right with me.

Most of you out there Monday is the beginning of your week.

For me?

It's my Saturday.

Mondays are at the moment my day off after running around like a chicken all weekend.

Can I just say football season has arrived!

Can I also say when you are a bartender in a bar where there is twenty something TVs by Monday you yourself feel like your body has been sacked about a hundred times.

Needless to say my weekended was slammed.

Right now I am trying to sip on my coffee and recover.

I am also trying to plan the 9 million other things I have to do today.

Somehow though... Pintrest got the best of me this morning and these quotes are summing up my morning thus far.

Source: 25.media.tumblr.com via palindromeda on Pinterest

Source: None via palindromeda on Pinterest

Source: etsy.com via palindromeda on Pinterest

Source: tumblr.com via palindromeda on Pinterest

Source: iobad.com via palindromeda on Pinterest

Source: weheartit.com via palindromeda on Pinterest

Corn Maze Rock Band

2011-09-30T07:41:00.000-07:00

One of the greatest things I love about being apart of the 20th century is technology.

You know how when we were little you would sit down with your mom, pull out the family photo albums and reminiscence on the days of past?

The albums, pages, and photos were tangible and something you never get sick of looking through.

How is it possible that now that happens through computer screens?

This past month I have been moving.

This means I have been finding things I didn't know I had.

One of these things have been massive amounts of sd cards.

I am loving it.

I found these photos of PAT-Rice and Rumpy from what had to be 4 or 5 years ago!

I was up visiting from AZ and we happened to get to go see Danny put on a rock show. He's here too.

At a corn maze.

With us front row.

(Maybe just only us...)

Ohhhhh memories.

One of the things I love about this night is it is one of my first real clear memories of hanging out with PAT-Rice.

I am so lucky to have this girly in my life.

Love you long time Patty.

Oh and you too Rumps, Danny, and Matt.

AND YOU TOO DEANNA EVEN THOUGH WE NEVER SEE YOU! ;)

Domestic Goddess = Fail

2011-09-29T07:00:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: Sooo... I can't say that I fully retrieved my foot out of my mouth as of yet.

However... I think I made progress.

Which at this point I will take what I can get.

On to other things.

Ladies how do you feel when the men in your life have aspects to them that are more domesticated then you yourself?

Yes, many of you who know me personally know that most of the men I date have been ridiculously handy or crafty. I MEAN IT IS STUPID! One of them hemmed my clothes more then once. Another made me a headboard and remolded his whole house himself.

I also have friends like Dr. BFF who almost makes it a point to do everything herself just to prove she can!

I am starting to have issues about my previous ideas of growing up to be a "domestic goddess."

I don't know how to sew.

I have a tiny little hot pink tool set that really all is good for is hanging pictures.

I know nothing about cars.

I am crafty with a staple gun and christmas lights.

Did I mention I don't even really know how to make Kraft dinner?

Sooo...

The reason I bring this up?

These are a few pictures of some of my dinners from the Mr.

Yes, he might of went to school to cook like this but, really?

Kinda of intimidating.

Now who can come over and help me put together my new Target bookshelf? ;)

Duuuuuhhhh.

2011-09-28T07:07:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have those mornings where you wake up and think to yourself, "I'm an idiot."

That is pretty much the kind of morning I am having.

(Kinda sad considering it is only 7:47 AM)

There are quite a few days in my life where because I am so open about how I feel I just run my mouth. Personally, I don't recommend this to anyone.

On those said days they are usually followed by these mornings... my idiot mornings.

So here I am, with new eyelashes and a pedicure, (yes I had a girl day) being an idiot and not knowing what to do or how to feel about my evening last night.

(Pics to come shortly)

Sadly my insecurities outweigh my logic, like most women, and now I get to spend the morning somehow trying to fix what I did.

I hope that all of you understand that I really am not going to post the details of my verbal regurgitation and the direction it was aimed at but I hope that today you all will just send me some good vibes.

Thanks! I gonna need em.

Professional Napper

2011-09-26T07:47:00.000-07:00

How is is Monday already?

Not that I had and exciting weekend.

Everyone I knew either did the Utah "Undie Run", went mountain biking, flew on fancy planes, or played in the lake.

Me and my cold/sinus infection?

Well we slept a lot.

With Finn.

He is an excellent napper.

He will sleep anywhere as long as it is soft and cushy and where humans sleep.

Lovely uh?

However thanks to my awesome napping buddy I am feeling a million times better!

Just a little runny nose and earache which hopefully will dismiss themselves in the next day or so!

Hope you all had a more exciting weekend than I did!

We Walked.

2011-09-24T17:33:00.000-07:00

Today was the day.

Today was the day we walked for NAMI and Team Speedy.

Thanks to numerous people at work and a few larger donations I overshot my personal goal and at the last time I checked NAMI had raised over $86,000.00!

It was such a lovely fall morning in the SLC and we couldn't of asked for a better turnout.

It was also nice to see some friends who I haven't seen in awhile as well as have

'TB" come down and join us all for the morning.

On a personal note, the highlight of the morning was talking to my Grandma Evie.

6 days before my 7th birthday her son, my dad, ended his life by his choosing.

Her and I have never really had a conversation about it.

Today we did.

Today we talked about how she saw it and how she believes as I do about the situation and about depression as a whole.

It was a moment that I will forever be grateful for.

Had he not been in my life nor would she of been and my childhood would of looked very different.

I am glad I made the decision I did today... couldn't of started a Saturday morning in a better way.

I was proud to walk along side so many wonderful people for such a great cause.

Hopefully the world will grow and people will learn and people will know they are not alone.

Lots of love to my family and all of those who have lost due to mental illness... I will never forget these individuals and may they remain apart of my thoughts day to day forever.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Go Sox and Go Home.

2011-09-23T10:28:00.000-07:00

Silly me.

I know I mentioned that the Mr. picked the hotels.

I loved that I had no idea where I was going.

I also loved that as a surprise when we pulled into Boston we also pulled into here.

Needless to say the Mr. got M.A.J.O.R bonus points.

I have never stayed somewhere so nice.

I felt like I needed to put my heels on just to walk down to the lobby.

This was our bathroom.

Insane right?

Saturday morning was incredible.

The Mr. decided that a tour on foot was best.

I couldn't of agreed more.

(I wish I was there right now actually)

We started the morning with a walk around town to a few places he had worked and then through the park.

There was a moment were I realized I take living in the mountains for granted but the energy of everyone out and about in the park together was so neat to see.

Especially for a girl who has never lived in a big city.

After we cruised Newberry St. we stopped at the Mr,'s favorite music store (It = awesome)

Then had brunch here.

After it was to "God's County."

There is no place on the planet like Fenway.

It is just special.

No doubt one of my favorite places on earth.

It was also heart warming to be there with the Mr. because he is such a fan.

We at one time talked about going here someday.

I am so happy that someday was sooner rather than later!

Another perk to Fenway was these two lovelies.

Cass and Elyssa were sitting in front of us and became fast friends.

So fast that they missed their train home and came out and partied with us that night!

Did I mention they are also hysterical.

They both are darling girls and I am fully convinced they both need to come out to the west and visit soon!

My trip was a dream.

The Mr. was so good to me.

I was so happy.

I am so happy.

The weekend was perfect and I will treasure the memories forever.

I haven't had so much fun in so long.

Thank you the Mr.

You know how bad I needed to get out of PC.

You also know just what would make my world spin upside down!

I will have Dunkin Donuts coffees with you anytime. ;)

Now...

Off to get better.

Being sick is just miserable.

I am excited for the walk tomorrow!

Also... Fall is officially here and in full swing!

Punkin beverages anyone?

Icccckkkk.

2011-09-23T03:21:00.000-07:00

I am a girl who loves her bed.

I personally think mine is the greatest on the planet.

So when I am not sleeping at currently 4:19 AstinkinM I get frustrated.

Does anyone else have a hard time sleeping when they are sick?

I have not been feeling well (and by well I mean like hot garbage sitting on the curb in Arizona) since I got home and the only thing I want to do is sleep but I can't.

There is seriously nothing more frustrating.

Nothing.

Hopefully by bed will invite my dreams again and I will wake up about 6 hours from now.

Wish me luck.

The More of the East. Seriously.

2011-09-22T09:38:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite things in life is something simple.

Driving around and looking at houses.

Not wanting.

Just looking.

One morning, in the past few months ago, I happened to mention this to the Mr.

He amazingly remembered this on our day in Rhode Island last week.

Have any of you ever been to Newport?

OMG.

Seriously.

We both found this "hippie" graffiti funny.

Who does this 420 crap?

Now to attest to my above mentioned house browsing...

This is where the Mr. brought me.

(Dr. BFF.. you would be in love. It is unreal)

There is a whole 10 miles of them.

Given I live in an extremely wealthy mountain town, I have never seen places like this!

Did I mention this was the rest of the neighborhood?

After our "Friday Morning" drive all I wanted was seafood... well and beverages.

One of the Mr.'s places he loved was called Mew's Tavern and it was perfect.

I wanted fish and chips.

Well, I got a WHOLE fish!

Later that night we got to see "Woody" or as the Mr. calls him "The Danimial" and spend sometime with him in downtown Boston.

He is a good buddy from back here in the PC who moved back home to become a hot shot in the financial district in Boston.

He is.

Not to mention yes lady friends, he is adorable and single!

The rest of the night was spent reminiscing and gallivanting around The North End.

I don't know how we made it home that night at any decent hour but we did.

Thank goodness we were well rested because the next day proved to be my favorite day of the trip!

Till tomorrow!

The East Part II.

2011-09-21T07:53:00.000-07:00

One of the best things about being out east was the Mr. went to school there.

He knew where to stay, where to eat, and how to get everywhere.

On a random note... ladies do you just love it when men can drive like crazy people in big cities?

I sooo do.

I also love men who take me to Dunkin Donuts.

I'm a sweet coffee drinker and man these people nail it every time!

After we left LP the Mr. decided he wanted to show me his old stomping grounds to off to Providence we went!

I loved the drive down.

I also loved that the Mr. really wanted to take care of the where we were sleeping details.

He knew that I loved boutique-ish type places and so Hotel Providence was his choice.

It was darling and quaint and had such and amazing amount of history to it.

Upon arriving that night we rallied to the bar and had the most amazing club and margarita pizza ever... ok maybe not ever but they were delicious!

The Mr. and I, we are sit at the bar type of people. I think it is because we like to watch what's going on and be entertained rather than sit in a dinning room...(or maybe it's the Mr.'s ADD) however had the dinning room not been closed I would of maybe chosen to sit here.

Isn't it stunning!?

The next morning is quite the story.

Let's just say it involves a 6 am wakeup call, a 4 mile walk, and the best breakfast of my life. All by my choosing... Still kinda sorry Mr.

The Mr. took me to his all time favortie AM dinning spot called "Nick's on Broadway."

Seriously the best..BEST. beST. breakfast of my life.

If I could remember what it actually was I ate..(lot's of fancy words here people) I would tell you.

I need to get the Mr. to write it down for me.

Seriously... there are no words for how tasty it was.

Upon our walk back I marveld at the history of all the old buildings and wondered what it would be like to actually live in an historic old city someday.

Maybe the mountains are my "only" thing...

Maybe I have a few other sights I have to see and experience outside of my mountain/country/farm/ hippieville world?

Any suggestions?

The East Part 1.

2011-09-20T06:53:00.000-07:00

So... the next few posts might be a little less like me.

Why?

Well.... I went out east to see someone.

To spend sometime with them.

(No I don't know what we are.

Please don't ask.

Love you.)

Sadly for me due to the nature of their job/life I can't blog about them.

Weird?

Yeah... kinda hard for me not to considering this is one thing I consistently do.

So, in attempt to record my week and yet not be able to use most of the photos I took (not fully understanding that I wasn't going to be using them) here is what I have got!

Can anyone say, "Hello Cliff's Notes" of my trip?

I decided this was my music theme for my "east coast trip of 2011."

These two lovelies were gems.

Friended within 5 minutes.

Kinda wish I were back with them right now!

Said gems above treated me and the Mr. to wine in our rooms.

I had no idea it had been 20 years!

We all had a good laugh!

The Mr. brought me flowers.

I love flowers.

I love the gesture.

I really didn't want to let go of them.

The view from my room.

Not bad uh?

I should of just bought this.

Why didn't I?

Kinda wish I knew what store it came from so I could order it online.

LP was so beautiful.

I hope to go back someday and spend more than 25 hours there.

My rental car.

Kinda felt like I was in the Mafia.

Enough said.

After we left LP we stopped at The Cheesecake Factory.

Have I mentioned how much I love Happy Hour menus?

This was all just within 25 hours.

It was a whirlwind.

I am already wishing I could go back in time....

Home.

2011-09-19T07:25:00.000-07:00

How is it that when you get home from vacation you always feel like you need another one to help you recover from the time you already took to relax?

I got home late last night and I would be lying if I didn't say I was a bit sad to be home.

I love the east.

I love the history.

I love the weather.

I love the people. (Esp. you Woody!)

I love love loved who I spent the weekend with.

(More on that later ;)

However, I am happy to be home.

I did miss my Finn and Hanky.

I missed the mountain air.

I missed my bed.

(Not that I didn't stay in 5 star hotel and my bed was just as wonderful)

I came home rejuvenated to do more.

More of what?

I'll share as I go as I usually do!

With that more of the trip will be shared this week!

How amazing are those photos?

My eyes are still sore from the beauty!

Blissful Morning.

2011-09-15T04:34:00.000-07:00

Right now I am about 2,300 miles away from home.

There is no better feeling.

I am not quite ready to share where I am.

However, I will say that after 14 hours of travel yesterday I am so happy to just be here.

By here? Well... just picture the resort from Dirty Dancing and you've about got where I am.

Feels like I am back in time to the 60s.

I don't know what the day has in complete store for me but I know I haven't been this happy in years.

I've had to pinch myself and hold back the happy tears this morning.

It was a LLOONNGG summer.

So for the meantime, I am going to sit in this little booth, listen to James Taylor, enjoy my coffee, and then do whatever my heart desires!

45 Min. Getaway

2011-09-12T09:57:00.000-07:00

The best thing about living in Utah is the best things you might of never known about are just a short drive away.

"TB" needed a little getaway Saturday morning.

I needed to do a least one little hike before the summer ended officially and the snow starts falling.

He told me to hop in the car and off we went!

This is where we ended.

Do you know where it is?

Finn joined us.

He was such a good pup and loved being in the mountains!

However, Hank, bless the old guy was missed,

Before we left I grabbed a little snack.

Does Airheads not take you back to 6th grade?

On our way home we made one other little stop.

Funny how it has only been two days and I am tempted to get back in the car just for another escape.

Gotta love having good friends and little getaways.

I have needed one all summer!

Thanks "TB" as usual.

ALSO.

Not 20 minutes after my last post this email was in my FB mailbox.

I love how she puts things.

So simple.

Thank you Polly.

Love you.

dear bridget,

just read your latest post - people are lame. don't worry about stupid people. they are just.. stupid. ha! there are tons of people who know you very well and love you a lot. like me! miss you, love

kristine

Mean People Suck.

2011-09-11T20:46:00.000-07:00

People amaze me.

Especially mean people.

Tonight I got home after a long day to this as a comment on my blog,

"You are a poser."

-Anonymous

This comment was to be left on this post.

Nice uh?

To this person,
You are rude.
Blogger tracks who reads what we write daily.
I am pretty sure I know who you are.
Also. If you think this way.
Quit reading my blog.
Not to mention lay off the harassment.
Thanks.

Poser or not. I wrote this post in November of 2009.
This one in December of 2009.
This one in April of this year.
Finally this one in May of this year.
This photo below is only 3 of the medications I take daily to help me deal.

My illness is not something I have joked about.
I have shared it here extremely personally.
It isn't something that I believe anyone will ever understand.
Maybe one person... whom at the moment isn't in my life.
It has been something that makes me be someone I don't like and or know.
It will always be the thing about me that not only scares me but holds me back from more than any of you really will ever know.
Some days it is paralyzing.

Thank you "Anonymous" for reminding me I make this up and am "posing."
I freaking wish I was.

It has also taught me that I can be better.
Now, as far as this person is concerned.
No, Speedy and I were not "best friends".
However, we did have a few very dear conversations that will remain with me always.

He will also always be a wake up call to me of where I know I could fall.
Yes, by my own choosing...but nonetheless those days are apart of my life.

This past month of my life I have changed quite a few things.
One of those things was to feel better and be a better person.
(I haven't been the best and I know this.)
Another was to give more of myself.
Hopefully this run is just a start.

Not to mention regardless of my "posing" or not... any effort put towards helping NAMI is something I am very proud to do and can't wait for the run on the 24th.
Once again to this person,
Sorry I am making an effort to raise money for your dear friend's foundation.
That his passing hit me and made me want to be better.
That I hope and pray that no one will ever have to bare this.
AND poser or not... at least I can raise a few dollars and make a presence wether you are grateful for it or not.

To those of you who do know me and love me anyway, thank you for all of the support and encouragement.
Everyday and always.

P.S. I am so happy to know I am not the only one who get's comments like this.
MEAN PEOPLE SUCK.

9.11.2011

2011-09-11T07:15:00.000-07:00

It has been 10 years.

10.

My heart still aches for that day.

I will never forget waking up turning on the TV, getting a phone call from my mom, and not leaving the TV all day for the next 3 days.

That night in the midst of the terror and sorrow I spent the evening listening to President Hinkley from Church.

Every year I have reflected on that night and the wonderful things that he said.

They, luckily are written in my journal and I turn to them every so often for strength.

On this day, 10 years later I will be thinking about those lives lost.

I will be thinking about the moments of sorrow those who were hurt have healed through.

I will be remembering the children, the parents, the firefighters, the policemen, the unsung heros, and mostly the men and women overseas who have fought for what they believe in, in protecting our country.

I am not only proud but grateful.

May we never forget.

9.11.01

Fall Sundays

2011-09-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

I laugh at myself somedays when I sit down to write a blog post and can find nothing in particular to really say.

I always have something to say.

Most of the time it isn't anything very bright and I get laughed at!

Oh well what are you going to do?

Today has been mellow and oddly enough I really wish I was just at home lounging with this guy.

I mean he is an awesome lounger.

Here is also a few pics from the past week as a recap!

"TB" at the park last "Sunday FUNDAY."

He cracks me up. Seriously.

Finn and Hankster decided that it would be awesome to go run through the mud/swamp/horse pasture at 7 AM.

7. A.M.

Did I mention it was 7?

I found two bottles of my 2nd favorite types of wine from my 2nd favorite winery here in good ol' Utah.

I then got to drink wine with my favorite wine drinking partner.

Finn likes to watch Hank get the ball.

Seriously.

Just watches and then takes it from him!

Lastly I GOT MY HAIR DID.

I did mention I love love love my hairdresser!

He is heaven!

This was a hot moment while listening to hits from the 90s!

I hope that you all had a great week!

Now time to go watch some FOOTBALL!

The Mr. and Mrs.

2011-09-10T15:20:00.000-07:00

Today.

This guy.

Who at one point was one of the closest people in my life is getting married.

I could not be happier for him!!!

He was a best friend for many years and still to this day I will never be grateful enough for all of the fun times and things we did for or with each other.

See here. or here. or here. or here. Mostly here. ESPECIALLY HERE.

(Turkey Day-ish 2009)

Bradley John I so wish I was there today.

However, I get to see you both in a few weeks!

I hope eternity has everything and more in store for the both of you!

I am so happy you found her and can't wait to meet her with my arms wide open!

Congrats Brealynn and Bradley John!

Mr. and Mr. Carbiener!

Pretty Little Things

2011-09-08T10:38:00.000-07:00

Last night I felt like I didn't sleep.

I mean, I know I did.

I know I only woke up once when Finn wanted into bed and I needed water but, 7 something came so early that it is 11:26 and I am debating to go back to sleep or not.

Weird.

Today I don't have to go to work.

I love these days.

So you know what I am going to do?

1. Get my hair did.

(Love my Urban Cowboy hairdresser)

2. Have another cup of coffee. I might not survive if I don't.

3. Laundry. uggh.

4. Finish unpacking my room and put "summer" clothes away.

5. Lastly, keep coveting this ring.

Is it not just amazing?

This past week I have decided that I want to from now on own mostly handmade things.

Etsy and I will be a force to be wreck-end with come Christmas.

Seriously though... this past few gifts I have got for my mom have been things handmade and every time she wears them I think, "Why didn't I get myself one too?"

So friends. Enjoy the day. I am going to take in the fall and try to wake up!

Team Speedy

2011-09-07T10:26:00.000-07:00

When Speedy passed... it shook me.

Most of you who personally know me have known that I have been battling my "ADD" for years.

I lost a father at 6 to depression.

I lost 3 friends at 18 to suicide.

In the past 3 years 3 more have returned home on their own accord.

Most days these thoughts don't cross my mind.

Yes, I am medicated.

Yes, it is hard.

Yes, I am no longer willing to do nothing about it.

In a few weeks from now I am walking for not only Speedy but for me, my friends, and my family who have fought.

I am also walking for my friends like Bama and the rest of the team who lost their dear friend last month as well and because of training and competitions can't be there.

I would love your support in any way possible.

Come walk or run or please donate to my team to help change the way we handle depression and mental illness.

CLICK HERE.

Also for more info go here.

My sincere and deepest Thank You!

Blankets

2011-09-07T08:46:00.000-07:00

I woke up today in what felt like being wrapped up in heaven's blanket.

It was chilly out last night. Very chilly.

The kind of brisk that, when snuggled up makes you not want to leave your bed.

I slept amazingly.

I woke up more happy than I have been in a really really really long time.

I heard from Ban this morning.

He made top 6 players and is over.the.moon.

I am going to visit and see him play.

Hello Mall of America!

Outside of my last few posts... I mentioned I didn't want to share much of the weekend.

I did however think a few pics, you know, for my posterity's sake were necessary.

Sunday FUNday.

Around noon.

Double fisting.

Enough said.

"G" (my new roomie/family/Sean's BF) came to join us out at No Name.

They had pulled pork sandwiches that day which I am pretty sure saved my life.

This is a kinda pic of the new friend. and since I am so in to nicknames I will call him...

"The Buckeye."

(He's from Ohio and has more state pride than anyone I know)

Yes. HE IS STILL ONLY A FRIEND.

However I am pretty sure he will remain a great and close one so he needs a place on the ol' blog here.

I like "TB."

I like that he is game for anything.

I like that he thinks I am funny.

I also really like that even though we haven't known each other long I sorta feel like I found a long lost brother.

He let me vent all weekend and just was supportive.

Not to mention fully enables my "fun" antics.

Bless his heart.

We ended our day in the park and it was awesome.

Bocce is not my fortay.

The first two throws maybe... the rest not so much.

I am pinching myself a ton the past few days for a million reasons.

It is nice to find a place where I feel like me again.

Some of my stresses have been relieved.

Some of my worries have disappeared.

Now it is time to ask myself...

WHAT NEXT?!?

The Copper Onion and Some Coffee

2011-09-06T07:14:00.000-07:00

I had such an eye opening weekend.

So much so that I had 4 other blog posts already written to share it all.

Somehow this morning things and the want to tell you all have changed.

I am not ready to share why.

I kind of just want it kept to myself for a bit.

However.

Today I am a very happy girl.

I am excited.

I am scared.

I am overwhelmed.

Mostly... today... I feel really loved.

What girl wouldn't when The Copper Onion and late night cups of coffee are involved?

Minnesota..eh

2011-09-05T10:48:00.000-07:00

One of the coolest things about being a big sister is that I am Bannon's big sister.

He seriously is one of the most charismatic, charming, funny men I know.

(Yeah, he is 20.. pretty much a man...weird.)

Yesterday he left to Minnesota to play hockey.

He has been working out and busting everything he had to make a team this year.

As his sissy I couldn't be more proud.

Before he left however we did celebrate as it was the perfect excuse for family and friend shenanigans!

I also love that this was not the only living room/kitchen dance party I had this weekend.

I am so happy for you Ban!

Way to fight for your dream and not listen to anyone or anything but your heart!

I can't wait to see you play!

Drop those mits, skate hard, and go get em BUDDY!

Downpour.

2011-09-02T09:54:00.000-07:00

There are somedays where you just need a split second to change your entire perspective on the day and parts of yourself.

I mentioned that last month was unruly.

It was unforgiving.

It was if Irene got caught up in me before she ever made her winds hit the east.

This week a different type of storm has arrived.

It is like the rain in the desert.

After the sky opens up and the clouds mellow you can smell the clean.

You can feel the new.

All you want to do is breathe it in.

That is how I am feeling today.

Mostly due to an unexpected circumstance.

I have made a new friend/friends.

YES, JUST A FRIEND.

However in the short time around them they have said somethings that brought me back to me.

With just a few sentences they brought an air of confidence into my countenance that has been missing for quite sometime.

I was confiding in them.

On a personal note, I was reflecting on the few times in my life where someone has told me that they would never be able to make me happy.

In response, I know that my love language is just quality time.

Just being there.

It was so comforting to have them say a few things to me of such sincerity and openness that walking into the conversation I was in a place of almost sorrow and leaving it I was over willing to hold my head high.

They also mentioned my blog.

(It amazes me all of you that read and I have no clue)

They told me that at times I have been "censored."

My reply?

"In the past I have gotten into trouble for being to open."

They then said,"So it's you. Your emotion is a good thing."

I get criticized a ton for wearing my heart on my sleeve.

For being too open or up or down.

Today?

I am no longer going to listen.

If I am not hurting anyone I am making it a goal to just be me and be proud of it.

Happy and all.

Alone.

and... with friends.

To my new friends.

Thank you for being the rain.

Now how about you come sit on the porch and enjoy the rainbow?

P.S. A few shots of my new home...it is heaven out here!

Gravity

2011-09-01T07:05:00.000-07:00

I can't stop listening to this.

I am feeling it was written for me and I didn't even know it.

Friend Stalking?

2011-09-01T06:39:00.000-07:00

I love the fact that blog stalking exists.
I love that I can just see what is going on in anyone's life at anytime when it is convenient for them to share and available for me to see.
As I just posted about the end of August I got a lovely comment from Polly.
She, to this day, has been one of my most favorite roommates ever.
In her post here she mentions her homesickness and that her month wasn't the best either.
Can I just say to you Polly, I love you and can''t wait to see you!
Oh and Matt too.

(How cute are they?)

Also that I love our Skype chats!

AAAANNNDDD....

CONGRATS TO MS. AMBER RAY!

Can we start a fund for everyone to just get together once a year?

I love the excuse for a wedding... as long as it isn't mine! HA!

P.S. After seeing all of these photos I really am rethinking about my trip to AZ this month... mmm.. decisions decisions....

Goodbye August

2011-08-31T17:01:00.000-07:00

Is it bad or wrong of me to say I am so happy today is the last day of August?

This month has brought more than enough for me.

Sadly I think these things (most things) were more on the half empty side of the glass rather then the half full.

Positively speaking I did find my Finn this month.

I needed him more than I knew.

What a blessing.

I am optimistic what September holds.

A 6 night river trip.

A sorta best friend marrying his best friend.

Leaves. Hoodies. Frost. Fall.

Maybe even a football game or two.

It is almost impossible for me to believe that this coming winter will be anything near as great as last but who knows... maybe Jack Frost will open a door for me rather than just trying to blow the cold air in?

Good

My Back Porch

2011-08-29T22:36:00.000-07:00

At this point this summer I posted about one of my favorite porches.

Today I decided it was time I had my very own special porch.

I am a firm believer that everyone needs either a good porch or a perfect bed.

What else will hold your thoughts and dreams?

How'd I do?

Please come join me anytime!

Peace, Love, and Treats

2011-08-29T08:52:00.000-07:00

I would like to preface this post with a statement and promise that no.. My blog will not be all about Finn. To be fair, he is kinda my life though now... just bare with me.

Last post I referred to the "accident."

Yes, my little guy had yet another in his short 5 months of life.

Sadly, a big bully was let in to our home (without my knowledge) and pushed Finn around in not a nice way.

Finn just wanted to play and ended up like this.

(Sorry I don't really want to relive the details.)

5 Staples, two drain holes, and he is now missing a part of one of his ears :(

HOWEVER. It has given me the best excuse to break the cardinal rule of never letting a pet sleep with you.

I don't care you haters.

He was snuggly and lovey and wanted his Mama.

Not to mention this also gave us the option of "Cone of shame" or "Hippie dog outfits."

Can you blame me?

Paddle Puppy and My Big Fish

2011-08-25T23:50:00.000-07:00

This last Sunday (before the accident.. more to come on that later) I took the boys to the lake.

I have been dying to see what Finn thinks of the water.

Hank who is more of a fish then a dog I knew needed the exercise and so off we were to paddle and swim.

This was the fist "put in."

This was the first run out!

I think Finn decided he liked to ride on the board more than swim next to it like Hanky.

Minus an escape from the truck and some fish bones that were attempted to be eaten, all in all it was a good first day at the lake.

Hopefully we will get a few more in before the snow comes.

Back Door.

2011-08-25T09:07:00.000-07:00

How is it that when Sundance is out my back door I miss seeing movies like this?

I can't wait.

Maybe this next year I will try to sneak a few in...

Farm Table Dinner

2011-08-24T14:36:00.000-07:00

I love where I live.

Have I mentioned that before?

The people here do the neatest things.

This night was one of them.

Avalanche Farms

Farm Table Dinner

July 2011

Right where the Mom keeps her horse there is a HUGE farm.

More like veggie farm then animal farm.

They hosted a dinner.

It was an experiment.

It was amazing.

There were no words.

Only photos for how stunning this evening was put together.

Somedays it is impossible for me and the Mom to get a good photo.

This guy owns a little brewery in Moab and is one of the best skiers I have E.V.E.R met.

It was by far one of my most favorite evenings of the summer.

Good family and friends,

incredible food,

and amazing atmosphere!

What more could you wish for in a summer evening?

Corners.

2011-08-19T10:31:00.000-07:00

The thing about life that continues to amaze me it the simple fact that you never know what is going to peek out around the next corner.

You never know what it going to shake you.

Make you happy.

Make you sad.

Make you question.

Yesterday I had one such experience.

The photo below is from 5-6ish years ago.

I, at the time was living in Provo.

The man with me in the photo I thought was it.

Go figure he wasn't.

However, to this day, is still one of my most favorite people on the planet.

Things didn't work out mostly due to questions and answers I still don't know.

I got left in an airport in Connecticut.

It was crushing.

Oddly, I forgave him in the moment it happened.

Since then we haven't really talked.

He lives in the east.

He is married to I am sure a wonderful girl from PC.

Yesterday they showed up at my work.

Now this was the amazing thing to me.

Not that he didn't say hello.

OR the fact that they sat down, he saw me, and they left..

It was what my body did.

I shook.

My heart started racing.

I panicked.

It was weird.

I don't have any malice or ill wish on him.

I never have.

To be honest I don't really think of him much.

Yes, the day before I had talked to my roommate about the story of us but other than that I hadn't mentioned him in years.

Anyway. I guess this post is just to throw it out there to those of you who read.

It is unreal what our bodies/hearts/subconscious holds on to.

I guess it really makes me question the universe and the simple fact that sometimes that subconscious/spirit/ higher power etc... does know what might be just around the corner.

Family Time and Moving

2011-08-18T08:56:00.000-07:00

This week has been crazy.

Yes, I know it isn't over but seriously!

I have been moving most of the week.

Luckily Jordy and my new roomie Gordy and our friend Pete have been a ton of help!

It has been a ton of work kind of fixing up the former bachelor pad but it is all coming together and I am loving it!

Also guess where I am living?

Do you know how cool it is it live in the country in the mountains?

Love it out here!

Also a week or two ago I decided I needed family photos of my boys.

The Mom does a pretty great job.

I don't know when the last time I had a photo taken of me that I have loved this much!

Bitten

2011-08-16T22:05:00.000-07:00

Right before the whole "Swimming Mac" incident I got to go have a wonderful evening with one of PC's coolest seniors.

I also choose to take the Finn pup to see how he would do...

I just hope he didn't get as many mosquito bites as I did!

(This was on the top front part of my legs!)